Last Thursday I picked Paul up from work at 3:30 and we headed out for our annual shopping trip to Erie, PA - the land of no sales tax on shoes and clothing. Generally Erie is about a 2 1/2 hour drive for us. We were planning on checking into our hotel, heading out to our favourite dive of a Mexican restaurant for dinner, and having a good night's sleep before a trip to the big outlet mall south of Erie on Friday.
Cue the soundtrack to Gilligan's Island . . . .
Before we had set out we had checked the weather network - yes, a small amount of snow was predicted but nothing out of the ordinary. We're from Canada - we're used to driving in the snow. Off we went.
We popped into the duty free to pick up some cheap vodka, rum, and Paul's favourite fruit and nut cadbury chocolate (because every one knows kids want fruit in their chocolate!) We heard some truckers talking about a delay on the I-90.
This would be foreshadowing for those of you with a good, quality public education!
Crossing into the US was a bit more invasive than usual - the guard actually searched our luggage. A first. Either she was bored or we looked like smugglers. Silly woman - the smuggling takes place on the way HOME!
A few flakes were falling now. It was enough to cause some crazed van driver to abandon their vehicle in the centre lane of the highway. This act of stupidity delayed us for a good 45 minutes. We amused ourselves by thinking up ways to puinsh the silly driver.
When we got onto the I-90 traffic ground to a complete stop. Flipping around on the radio we heard about an accident on the other side of the highway that had closed all lanes. Apparently folks on our side of the highway were so engrossed in accident that they forgot how to put their cars into drive and move. We were at a standstill.
We amused ourselves by making fun of Stephen Harper and the idiotic policies of Canada's Neanderthal Conservative government.
Two hours later, still not done thinking of ways to critique the government, we started to move again. Rather fitfully we thought but we were moving.
Snow was blowing about a bit but there was nothing worrisome about it. Heck, we were still in a good spot to make Erie and the Mexican restaurant in somewhat of a decent time.
In snowy weather we have no need to pretend we are driving in a race. We Canadians know that the place to be is in a convoy of traffic . . . driving slowly and steadily. Yes folks, there is a reason why the tortis won the race.
Cars and trucks who defied this well-proved logic were later passed as they lay stuck in the ditch. I should have had sympathy for their plight but guess what - I didn't! Not one bit.
We were making relatively good progress with this until we came to a complete stop.
Minutes turned to hours.
There we were . . . stuck in the darkness, blowing snow . . . a long line of red lights in front of us and head lights behind us.
The radio was playing Christmas music. We sang along.
By now it was getting late. We were getting tired, thirsty, and hungry. We did have the rum and vodka from the duty free but decided that wasn't the thing to be knocking back at the moment. The tiny Cadbury Fruit and Nut nuggets gave us some energy but they weren't the meal we had been hoping for.
Paul nodded off.
I forced myself to stay awake not knowing when the traffic ahead of us might start moving again. I certainly didn't nat to be the guy who fell asleep at the wheel and delayed all the cars behind us when the traffic moved again!
Finally I gave up and nodded off.
We were woken by the sounds of sirens. Not the sirens that emergency vehicles use but the loud ones used to warn of attacks, or prison escapes. We knew that there was a prison along the highway but had no idea if we were near it or not.
We locked the doors just to be safe.
I was down to 1/2 a tank of gas by now. We decided to start conserving it. I shut the engine off, the windows fogged up. Paul snored. I amused myself with facebook and sending details of our plight to friends and family. Thank goodness for the Blackberry!
When we got cold I turned the engine back on to warm us up for a bit. I had visions of all the traffic ahead of us having moved on and us being left all alone.
Once I could see out of the windows again i realized that all was as before. Lots of the cars around us had turned off their engines and were sitting in the darkness. The only sounds were the festive tunes on the radio and the howl of the wind. Some of the cars beside us had been sitting idle for so long that snow drifts were forming around them.
All of the festive songs describing some sort of winter wonderland were starting to get to me.
When Patsy Cline started in about Susie Snowflake . . .
Here comes Suzy Snowflake,
Dressed in a snow-white gown,
Tap, tap, tappin' at your windowpane
To tell you she's in town . . .
the radio was turned off.
It was about 2:30 that I but my seat back and tried to get some rest. We weren't really cold as we had warm clothing on. We had lots of gas. We had some chocolate. We were surrounded by truckers and other drivers in the same plight.
I looked at it as an adventure. Tiring, trying, but an adventure nonetheless. A good story.
When I woke at 5:45 it looked as if daylight was trying to make an appearance. Looking out it was surreal - nothing but trucks and cars in front and behind of us. All sitting there silently in the snow.
The call of nature was strong. I discovered that I could still spell my name in the snow.
By now I was bored.
I got out of the car and walked around a bit.
Nope. Nothing exciting out there.
Snowballs were made. A snow angel attempted.
Still bored. 'Hyperactivity' and' stuck in the snow' are not a happy combination!
Back in the car I fell asleep again. We were woken by a knock on the window - a friendly trucker checking to see that we were OK.
I developed a new found appreciation for truckers. He wandered around digging cars out of the snow drifts that had formed in the night and checking to see that everyone was OK. Now if only he had had a coffee maker in his rig!
Now I was getting helpful e-mails from colleagues . . .
I googled surviving being stranded in a blizzard in a car. Poor jerry and paul have done almost everything wrong. I'm afraid their chances of making it ar slim. No emergency kit, no blankets with plastic, no empty coffee can to melt snow in, no candles, matches, utensils. It also says you should only run the car 10 min at a time to avoid carbon monoxide poisoning, and to keep a window open a crack. Who will go first? Jerry or Paul?
It was nice knowing that we were destined for an early death.
By now it was 8 am. We had been en route for 16 and 1/2 hours. The adventure was growing tiresome.
The guy behind us was walking around asking people is they knew what highway it was and if we were going east or west. He was missing his socks. He was either the escaped prisoner or affected by the snow craziness. My money is on the former.
Colleagues started to discuss what an amusing blog post it would be.
I was sent a list of the items I should have had in my car in order to survive in a blizzard. Who writes these lists? Had I had all of that crap in the car there would have been no room for our shopping - to say nothing of Paul or I!
Some friends on facebook started to take bets for when we would run out of gas (for the record we didn't - pay up!).
By 9:23 we had started to move more. We sailed through the tollbooth and didn't have to pay the toll. SCORE A friend suggested to me that the $ 3.15 we saved hardly compensated for the hotel room we would have paid for and not used the night before.
'tis nice to have friends who keep you grounded in reality.
Once we got through the toll booth the highway was closed ahead. The authorities were directing all of the traffic off onto the local roads. Imagine the congestion. Add cars running out of gas. Imagine the confusion . . .
The friendly truck driver banged on my window and advised us that there was a far quicker route we could take. We followed his advice and were in Erie in 45 minutes after a lovely drive along the lake. it really was a winter wonderland!
The hotel didn't charge us for the night we missed because we were sleeping in the car. I love Marriott!
A quick shower and clothes change and we were soon at Cracker Barrel for the biggest breakfast. EVER. My theory was 'diet be damned'. We ate it all!
Later we heard from friends in California that the adventure had made CNN and the 6 o'clock news on the west coast. We read in the local paper of officials driving through the stuck traffic offering food, drink, and gas to the stranded motorists.
Hmmmm
I don't know where that was but there were no ATV or snow machine tracks anywhere near us. *sigh*
We saw on the news that stranded drivers were rescued and taken to shelter. They later had to pay a towing charge and the TOLL!!!! My head would have exploded at that point.
There you have it. Excitement whilst enroute to shop.
The moral to this tale . . .? When confronted with things beyond your control sit back, try to make the best of it, laugh a bit, and have fun with your BlackBerry!
