Jerry's Thoughts, Musings, and Rants!

Packing

Six days to go. I need to think about packing . . .

Palma has already packed her bags and weighed them to see if they will be accepted on a plane without penalty.

Me? I am making lists . . .

One of the great on going debates  discussion on the slowtravel community message board generally revolves around packing. There are those who swear by their ability to pack enough clothing for an entire three week European adventure in a carry on bag. We are not in that camp. No, not evening close.

I see nothing to be gained by rinsing out my jockey shorts each evening with shampoo and hanging them to dry in the window.

Someone posted this a few weeks back:

We just returned from one week in Paris, and it (a BACKPACK) performed very well. I was able to pack a pair of jeans, a pair of chinos, two polos, two long sleeve button down shirts, one sweater, one pair of shoes, six pairs of socks, six pairs of boxers, one heavy jacket, three under shirts, one long sleeve tee, one short sleeve, tee, a pair of mesh shorts, two books, four magazines, shaving kit, notebook, maps, and other smaller items. It was comfortable to carry through airports, the Paris metro, and while walking down the street. If you regularly can use a 22" roller for one week trips, then you can use this too. It was perfect.

Nothing about this, other than a week in Paris, sounds perfect to me. Hell, I need a backpack just for my camera, iPod, video camera, cell phone, assorted chargers, international plug, etc.

Frankly I do NOT pack lightly at all. Why, you ask?

1. Read the jockeys in the bathroom sink drying in the window for  # 1.
2. I don't care to wear the same outfit five days in a row. I suppose no one would know. The problem is I would and I wouldn't be able to live with ME!
3. Yes, I know that the people I see don't know me and I will likely never run into them again. However, I just do NOT like the thought of wandering about with my clothing looking like Phyllis Diller's ankles because I have rolled it up in a tube to fit it all in a carry-on.
4. I am addicted to guidebooks. Guidebooks take up room in the suitcase. Hell, just printing out hotel reservations, plane reservations, directions to the villa, car rental agreements, etc has filled a file folder.
5. I am not a nudist (and the world gives thanks for that). I like clothing.
6. Apparently I have shoe issues. I bring different pairs with me. I bring walking shoes, sandals, running shoes, dress shoes. Sometimes I bring river shoes or hiking boots. Have you ever tried to put a pair of hiking boots in a backpack?
7. Some folk enjoy wearing nothing but black for weeks on end. I am neither a monk nor a goth. I enjoy some colour in my life. Having a clothing palette involves a variety of colours. This takes luggage room to mix and match appropriately.
8. I like to bring wine home with me. Thanks to those pinheads who tried to down an airliner with the contents of a coke can I can no longer bring my wine home as carry-on. Now I have a wine suitcase, carefully fitted with styrofoam, to safely bring that liquid gold home with me.
9. I have been known to purchase a thing or two. Actually I have been known to purchase so many things that I was forced to mail boxes of dirty clothing home in order to make room for my purchases in my suitcase. I could fill a carry-on in 5 seconds in Florence.

So you see, I just don't get it. To those who like to pack lightly, I say - good for you. I shall have my two bags, changes of clothing, clean jockey shorts, shoes, wine, and purchases.

This You-tube has some helpful advice for those of you who wish to pack lightly. At first I thought it was helpful, having watched it a few times I now think it is mocking light packers. I like it more now. :-)

Cats and Dogs

My friend Catherine sent this to me last week.

DOG DIARY

8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Idiots!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies. I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around   his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

This YouTube video examines this difference even further . . .

New Camera

I've done it. After thinking about a new camera for some time, comparing them on-line and talking to folks about the merits of one versus the other, I have finally made the purchase.

My new toy (well, one the them anyway, more on that later) is shown above.

After all the research I bought a Nikon D60.

The Nikon D60 is a compact 10.2 megapixel digital SLR camera with great technical specifications and wide range of accessories. Brilliant image quality, amazing performance and outstanding design are just three of the many benefits of this perfect digital device.

Nikon D60 Digital SLR Highlights . . .

Nikon Integrated Dust Reduction System Dust in front of your camera sensor can mean distracting spots on your pictures. That’s why Nikon does everything to ensure clear pictures, including minimizing the build-up and appearance of dust. Nikon’s exclusive Airflow Control System is one of the two main protections against dust. It leads air within the mirror box towards small ducts near the base, preventing internal dust from settling in front of the image sensor. The D60’s second form of defense is the Imaging Sensor Cleaning function, which was originally built for the D300. Every time you turn the camera on or off, this function uses vibrations to steer dust away from the optical low-pass filter in front of the sensor (deactivation and manual activation are also possible). Nikon engineers have also dealt with dust and other tiny particles in many other ways to prevent such image degrading material from attaching to the filter or being seen by the sensor when you are taking pictures. With all these measures in place, you can concentrate on getting the shot while exploring the wide array of Nikkor interchangeable lenses that a Nikon digital SLR opens up to you.

Rich, Smooth Detail with Active D-Lighting Sometimes, even a perfectly exposed scene will not render an ideal photograph. With difficult lighting conditions, important details can be lost in the highlights and shadows. But with Nikon’s Active D-Lighting, the D60 can correct these exposure issues instantly and automatically, while you shoot. Simply set Active D-Lighting before you start shooting. Active D-Lighting is available when "Matrix" is selected for metering.

Eye Sensor The Eye Sensor activates every time you look through the viewfinder, turning off the information display on the LCD for comfortable shooting.

Compact, Light and Comfortable The D60 is compact, light and ready to go wherever life takes you. The D60’s size is not the only factor to consider; its shape is ergonomically designed to fit in your hand naturally and comfortably. Nikon’s experienced engineers know that operating a camera shouldn’t distract you. That’s why each button and texture on the camera’s exterior has been carefully considered for the most efficient and fluid operation possible.

The D60’s bright, clear optical viewfinder is also designed with the user in mind, its helpful indicators and intuitive icons helping you achieve ideal composition with the optimal settings.

Nikon’s Intelligent Built-in Flash -- Simply Brilliant Proper flash lighting used to require skill, time and patience. With the D60, however, flash photography is simple, instant and accurate. Thanks to Nikon’s cutting-edge i-TTL flash technology, all the complicated calculations happen automatically, giving you balanced flash illumination under almost any conditions, even difficult lighting situations such as backlit subjects. With Auto mode, you just point, shoot and let the camera do the rest. It’s that simple.

Display Format Options The information display in the 2.5-inch LCD monitor lets you check essential camera information quickly and easily. Choose whatever display format fits your taste best: each of the Graphic and Classic formats have three color variations to suit your preferences, while Wallpaper uses one of your own pictures as the background. Graphic format uses visual displays to show shutter speed and aperture, as well as the mode dial every time you turn it to a new setting. The D60 even recognizes whether you are holding the camera horizontally or vertically, and then automatically displays camera information on the LCD monitor accordingly.

Intuitive Menu Navigation The D60 lets you alter settings and functions in many ways. For all the choices it offers, the menu is still amazingly simple and intuitive, with navigation made easy thanks to a carefully considered design. If you are ever unsure about a specific feature or function, simply press the O button for detailed information. It’s like having an onboard instructor to answer your questions. The D60’s convenient assist images help you select appropriate camera settings. These useful reference images help explain the effect that each function has on your photos -- very helpful for exploring new features and making the most of the camera.

Creative shooting is just a quick turn away With the D60, you will always be prepared to shoot a wide variety of subject matter. Just turn the mode dial to fit your shooting situation and beautiful results are yours instantly.

Quick responses, captured moments Amazing moments can pass by quickly, but the D60’s fast 0.19-second startup, split-second shooting time lag and fast, accurate autofocus capture more of these moments with precision. The camera’s high-speed continuous shooting also helps capture fast-moving action at up to 3 pictures per second for as many as 100 (JPEG) pictures.

Lord - that is a lot of features. now I have to figure out how to use them before we get to Italy!

Spring Has Sprung

It was a little over a month ago that I was whining about the snow we had been having. A friend commented that she didn't know why anyone would want to live in a cold place like Burlington. Reflecting upon it I think it is because we have clear, well-delineated seasons.

Six weeks ago we had this . . . .

Today this is what I saw when I arrived home from work . . . .

This is what I call seasonal delineation!

Out back, where the sun hits the garden last thing in the day, winter was more slow to depart. Still the lilac tree has budded and the blooms are ready to burst forth.

I love when spring breaks loose in the air. A time of promise. It is funny how quickly one can forget the trials of winter in the rush to slip on some sandals and race out into the garden.

Did You hear the One About . . .?

Sometimes as a blogger you face a dilemma. Things come your way and you think 'hmmm . . . that would be a fine post . . .'

But then the little voice in your head mumbles something about offending folk and you have a moral struggle with which to cope. Should you or shouldn't you?

Moral conscious be damned, I say.

Did you hear the one about the priest who attached himself to helium filled party balloons in an attempt to set a record?

Sadly, this isn't Comedy Central but the evening news.

The Rev. Adelir Antonio Di Carli was trying to break a 19-hour record for the longest party balloon flight to raise money to fund a "spiritual" rest stop for truckers in Paranagua, Brazil.

A spiritual rest stop?

For truckers?

Not touching that piece of this gem. No, not at all.

What would entice someone to think that filling 1000 balloons with helium, attaching the full balloons to your body and then floating away might possibly be a good idea? This is just dumb, dumb, dumb. The wind picks up. You float into the ocean . . . dumb, dumb, dumb.

At the risk of being cruel, offensive, and an all round twit . . . cause and effect exists for a reason and some folk invite things to happen to them.

The sad consequences of this cautionary tale of helium misuse?

Lots of money will be spent trying to rescue this twit. Probably enough money to construct spiritual retreats all over the place.

Those truckers will have to get by without the 'Rev. Adelir Antonio Di Carli Spiritual Retreat' to assist in their soul cleansing.

We'll have the 24 hour round-the-clock 'missing balloon priest watch' on CNN.

The Brazilian navy will be put on full alert.

Manufacturers of party balloons will have to include warning labels on their products: 'attaching too many helium balloons to your body may result in unplanned flight and death'

Update at 11.

Commuting Tales

With all of the traveling I have been doing lately I haven't had a good train blather. A funny thing happened today to set me off . . .

First, this morning. The train was crowded (duh . . it is always crowded) and I was seated beside another guy. My bag was in the space underneath my seat. I reached down to get my book and fumbled in the bag. Suddenly it moved.

Apparently I had been groping the guy beside me. He looked at me, I looked at him. We both got horrified expressions and grabbed the sports section of the paper (although I really wanted Entertainment) and looked away to read.

The two ladies across from us just tried to stifle (unsuccessfully, I might add) their laughter.

Then this afternoon. I was bopping along on the train listening to my new iTouch (more on this baby later). We rolled past a high school heading towards Oakville. I happened to look up as we passed the BMX track and noticed that it was crowded with hoodlums. Apparently the hoodlums chose to put their best side forward because they mooned the train en mass.

I don't know what they were expecting as a reaction because I doubt anyone noticed on my car - everyone was asleep, reading, or staring at the ceiling contemplating another night of reality TV (my god, when will the post writer's strike shows stream out). 'tis a terrible thing to put yourself all out there for a big finish only to get a yawn.

I am sure that their parents would be chuffed.

Later I overheard some guy on the train saying he "kirked out" on someone the other day to a fellow passenger.

"What the hell does this mean?' I wondered.

A quick search on Google via my Blackberry for "kirked out" gave me 928 hits and the first one was from the Urban Dictionary: Kirk: To go crazy, to flip out, to wig out. "Timmy kirked out when he saw the guitar solo."

Who knew?

There you have it, a new word to describe you the next time you get perturbed on the train.

Spam . . .

  
Lately I have been inundated with spam e-mail. It has gotten to the point that I no longer bother to read anything. I tell you, I am sick of getting e-mail about blue pills, breast augmentation, penile implants and the such.

Every now and then I will receive a little treat in my junk mail folder - a spam e-mail that actually makes me wonder and perhaps even smile for a bit. This was the latest:

From Joy Moses

How are you today? i was convince within my heart that i can trust you with all my heart but my only fear now is that i hope and pray you beleive what i have to tell you.

I am Joy as you rightly know, i am 19, My mother was an frican American while my father was from the french speaking colony of Cote D‘ Ivoire, i was living with my mother not too far from Charleston building, 601 57th Street,Charleston West Virginia USA. And i attended Charleston senior High School,1201 Washington Street E, Charleston, WV. I lost my mother sometimes ago and after her death i came to meet my father for the very first time in Cote d‘Ivoire, though he was also living in the state efore he relocated back to Cote d‘ Ivoire to set up a business.

Exactely two months and one week after i came to meet my father with the help of US consulates he died , he was very sick when i came to meet him but before his death there were some document he gave to me and he told me that everything he worked for in his life time is in the document when i crosscheck the document i discovered that my late father deposited Ten Million dollars in a security company. my late father deposited the money as family valuables in a trunk box.

I am just a girl and there is little or nothing i could do on my own and again if my late father relative find out that my late father left that kind of money in my care i don‘t know what they might do to me, so i need! you to help me contact the security company and claim the deposited Item for me as my friend and Guandian,and take me along with you. If you do this for me apart from the love i will also offer you 20% of the total money for helping me.

Please i requested for your trust and understanding because it might sound unbeleivable but it is the truth,

Yours Truly

Miss Joy Moses

Please send this information's below

Your full name and home address
Your telephone and fax number
Your international passport or Id card
Please reply me back with my private mailbox( faithjoymoses11@yahoo.fr )

Someone has far too much time on their hands - but at least they have read the classics. This Dickensian tale of a poor waif alone against the world with a line on a stash of cash is inspired. Stupid, but inspired.

Of course, being the curmudgeon that I am I immediately wondered who the heck with give a whit about Joy. I know that I didn't.

Let's deconstruct this is bit. Here we have a 19 year old girl, raised in the US, yet her spelling and grammar is atrocious. I know that people make all sorts of comments about the US education system but you wouldn't be the richest country in the world if you were churning out illiterate idiots like this!

Joy feels that she can trust me with all of her heart. Wrong, wrong, wrong. In fact. I immediately reported your electronic drivel.

Joy is 19, educated in the US, raised by parents who somehow amassed $ 10 million, yet she needs some random internet friend she has never e-mailed before or met to help her transfer the money out of the country.

Hmmmm

All I need to do is send her enough personal information that she could steal my identity, defraud me, and generally make my life a living hell. In return she will give me $ 2 million dollars and her love. SCORE Keep the $ 2 million Joy, I' do it for your love.

Well Joy. You can rot away in the Ivory Coast. I won't be sending you anything. Well, anything except for my disdain.

Is there anyone in the world gullible enough to fall for this crap?

Sadly, I expect that there must be or the e-mails would stop coming.

What do Cats Do When We're Gone?

I was off of work all of last week. Initially the cats were thrilled to have me there . . . they could not get enough affection. By Friday it was clear that they had had enough. I was ignored whole heartedly, as only a cat can do.

Upon reflection, I think I understand why. I was clearly crimping their daily routine. This routine involved, in addition to tossing every single place mat onto the floor, drinking from the toilet bowl:

What do you mean I have a water dish? I thought that THIS was my water dish!

Reading the newspaper.

resting . . . .

eating breakfast . . .

enjoying things on the counter . . .

resting some more . . .

Hiding . . .

playing . . .

bathing . . .

and more rest!

Now I didn't mind the rest so much but some of their other activities didn't last for long with me at home. This were back to normal this week. We were at work and the house was theirs for the day.

Oh oh.

They don't know about Good Friday tomorrow! 

I'm Sick of Winter

It is official.

I am sick of winter.

Last year we received 60 cm of snow. Apparently this year we're cruising along at about 195 cm. Our first snow was early - in November, and we had snow 1 out of every two days since then.

This was our house this morning. Notice the huge pile of snow in front of the driveway. Thank you snow plow driver.

I just wish he could plow the road as well as he fills our driveway in with snow.

Last night, in the midst of the worst March snowstorm on record, we had tickets to see a play in Toronto. We decided early on to take the train and not drive.

This is Paul standing in front of the pile of snow at the train station. No, that is not a hill. Nor is Paul a midget (with apologies to tiny folk everywhere).

Toronto was deserted. We had no trouble getting in to our restaurant and getting to the theatre on time. The theatre was empty. This shouldn't be taken as a reflection on the quality of the play.

This is the sidewalk on the way from the restaurant to the theatre. Some twit told me the snow had stopped by this point. I, and the photo above, beg to differ.

When we got back to the station my car was drifted in. I just put it into 4 wheel drive and ploughed through the drift. Another reason why the SUV is necessary here. As I said in the other day- Al Gore can bite me. No Prius could even have handled the roads yesterday. I guess our carbon footprint was offset by the fact the all of us took the train.

Then again, at this point I don't really care.

This morning the snow had stopped and the clean up had begun.

See that mound in the centre? That is my neighbour's car.

Here's the front of the house after we had shoveled. Clearly, I won't be cutting the grass anytime soon.

I almost lost my Wheaties this morning when I was reading the paper.

"I think what will happen is people will start cheering for their record," Environment Canada climatologist David Phillips predicted, "because, if there's any comfort in a winter of misery, it's in at least having something to talk about in the warm days, to brag to your grandchildren, `I remember the winter of 2007-08.'"

I beg to differ. No one on my street was cheering about setting a new snow accumulation record. Phillips should be buried face-first in one of the snow banks which makes driving such a challenge these days.

If I ever blather on about the 'winter of 07-08' it is time to put me out of my misery.

I am all for setting records. I'd like to set the record for the quickest return to the waistline I last had at age  22.

The most snow in a season? I don't care about that record at all, not one bit.

Click, Click, Click - February 29 - March 7

I'll admit to being a loser right up front.

One of the things which fascinates me about my blog is how people get there. I guess you get what you pay for because Typepad does an incredible job of getting the blog content out into the hands of search engines, particularly google. When I check my stats to see how many visitors I get in a day (about 120 per day these days) I can look at where they came from.

About 1/3 of my visitors arrive via various slow travel pals, their blogs, or by clicking on my blog lonk on posts I've made to the message board. Another 1/3 of the posts come from friends and family. The rest come from google searches.

I decided it would be neat to track this for a week (remember the full disclosure in the first line) so I recorded the words people entered into the search engine, they clicked 'Google Search' and low and behold, they ended up at my little spot on the internet.

These are the searches for the past week (if the exact phrase was used I didn't repeat it, there were many repeats):

• jerry's rants
• boozes named after 15th century venetian painter
• duffs chicken wings calories
• nutritional values - duffs wings
• recipe duffs chicken wings
• how far is duff's from niagara falls
• chicken wing ottawa
• Lcbo molten chocolate cakes
• alta vista animal hospital rating Ottawa
• asparagus gruyere tart
• asparagus slanted door recipe
• fennell recipes jamie oliver
• smashed vegetables jamie oliver
• jamies smashed veg
• jamie oliver roast pork
• slow roasting pork
• slow roast pork, jamie oliver
• slow roast pork Jamie
• Jamie Oliver at home slow roast pork
• Jamie Oliver's pork with fennel and garlic recipe
• jamie oliver - roast vegetables
• "slow roasted pork" + "Jamie Oliver"
• "Jamie Oliver"+"Pork shoulder"
• pork shoulder recipe jamie oliver
• pork jamie oliver
• slow roast pork + spices
• jamie oliver slow roast lamb
• jamie oliver carbonara
• photos of melissa oneil in dirty dancing in Toronto
• charile Wilson
• Charile Wilson's War
• charile wilsons quotes
• “pear pecorino ravioli"
• pin ravioli
• herbs pumpkin goes well with
• butternut squash & smokey bacon
• were are those who won the lottery
• dirty dancing logo
• dirty dancing cake
• children of the 30s
• 50"s garden hose mud pies
• alexandra byrne arms
• cook tilapia oliver
• obay
• boone's sangria
• cameron diaz best cinematography
• diablo Colby
• alexandra bryne at the oscars + her dress
• brie sandwich blog
• bean sprout soup
• spinach stuffed chicken breasts
• buckwheat pancakes
• soma chocolate shortbread
• 1/2 cup butter (1 stick), softened 1 cup brown cream together the butter white chunk macadamia
• toronto globe & mail orange marmalade cake
• blueberry lemon pancakes
• growing season potentials Vitis vinifera in niagara peninsula
• Montisi
• pancetta and arugula pizza
• thoughts on the end of no country for old men
• french martini
• queen victoria lb in 1873
• definition "pinboned"
• upper canada cheese
• "easter hunt" clues
• blue cheese crust
• quick and easy summer desserts
• pancetta green asparagus jamie oliver
• jamie oliver pancetta wrapped fish
• ripassa meatball pairings
• sangsters rum cream monkey's uncle
• blended bellini recipes from milestone
• beef barley soup cooking light
• 12 angry men morality
• "world without end" reviews
• if i won the lottery

Does this tell us anything? I think so.

Firstly - few people know how to do a good web search that truly uses the power of boolean searching. Secondly, those who do search have atrocious spelling. Third, if you want traffic to your blog it is best to have a variety of posts. Finally, if you REALLY want traffic, post a recipe about Jamie Oliver.