Bizarre Day

Have you ever had one of those days where you thought for sure that someone had a camera trained on you and was filming for some TV show? You know the ones - where some poor unsuspecting sap is confronted with outrageous situations and the secret camera captures every bit of the ensuing train wreck.

Saturday was like that for me.

It started when I went to the farmers market. I was checking out the peaches. Out of the corner of my eye I could see an elderly lady doing the same on the other side of the table. Suddenly her eyes opened wide and then she just dropped like a brick to the ground. The young girl working in the stand yelled 'oh god, lady, are you all right . . .?' followed by 'call 911'.

A nurse from within the crowd rushed over and started CPR.

I decided that the market just wasn't for me and went to the grocery store. It isn't every day you see someone drop dead amongst the peaches. I guess if you have to go that is not a bad way to do it.

Shaken, I went about my errands.

Back home I had just finished making lunch when some dark clouds raced in to obliterate the sun. I ran out just in time to cover the BBQ before the torrential down pour started. We have had more rain this summer than I ever remember. In fact, I have only had to use the hose to water the lawn/gardens once - something that is unheard of.

I took a nap - something about rain makes me very sleepy.

The rain stopped and I was rudely awakened by Paul - Victor had captured a furry creature and would I dispose of it for him?

Isn't that what everyone wishes to be woken up with?

Furry creature was still kicking so I placed him (her?) outside in the garden where he (she?) could cavort amongst the plants.

More grey clouds and thunder storm # 2 rolled in.

This one was special - hail!

This storm stopped and the sun peaked out only to be followed by another band of grey clouds.

The rain this time was some fo the hardest I have ever seen. The diversion ditch at the back of our house became a raging torrent. Our neighbour's garden (foolishly planted IN the diversion ditch) washed into our backyard.

After watching the rain for a bit I decided to have another nap.

Only to be woken by Paul - the basement was leaking.

The rain stopped long enough for us to think about dinner on the BBQ. Of course, it started up again before we got anything on the grill.

Paul wanted some stuff from the liquor store so I headed out in the rain. While in the store the gentle rain became another torrential downpour. What was this? Number four for the day? Enough, enough I say!

As I was paying there were loud noises from the vodka aisle. It seems that a Hummer owner, not wanting to get wet, just parked the behemoth in front of the store - effectively blocking the cars that were parked there legally. Loud words were shouted, opinions about annoying Hummer drivers were shared, this brought cheers from the rest of us in the store.

Then fists flew.

I left the store, not wanting to be around when the bottles of vodka flew.

The rain was coming down so hard that the water was above my feet as I dashed through the parking lot to my car (legally parked, thank you very much).

Back at home we decided to order pizza. I placed a large order knowing that I would be away for the next week - Paul would have some food in the house even if it was leftover pizza.

The rain stopped and we were treated to the sight of a full rainbow - something you don't see very often. Unfortunately it was so close that I couldn't get all of it in a pic.

This is one piece:

We waited an hour and a half for our pizza. Nothing came. When I called they explained that there had been a power failure (couldn't they have called us I wondered . . .). Anyway, the owner apologized and said our pizzas and stuff would be free - score (we had ordered $ 50 worth!)

It had been an eventful day. I headed to bed after eating some free pizza (have you ever noticed that free pizza tastes far superior to the stuff you pay for?) only to be woken from a sound sleep just before midnight by Paul. The cats had captured another furry creature that required disposal. I dragged myself out of bed to toss it out.

I had been dreading staying in the hotel next week but by now it was looking up quite nicely.

What a day . . . death amongst the peaches, four storms, fisticuffs amongst the vodka, washed out gardens, hail, leaky basement, fuzzy creatures, and free pizza. Really, it was enough for a week . . . no need to pack it all in on a Saturday, no need at all!

Comments

[sandi @ the whistlestop cafe]

It is not peach week yeat!!!
Glad to hear Victor is back to his old self. I bet Paul is not looking forward to next week.

[Deborah]

Jerry, I'm wiping the tears from my cheeks! This is the funniest thing I've read in weeks.
Irma Bombeck is screaming in her grave from envy.

[sandrac]

Just be thankful that it isn't (yet) raining locusts or somesuch. This summer has totally sucked, I have never seen so much rain!!! Fortunately, I haven't seen death among the peaches or fisticuffs in the vodka section.

Meanwhile, could you let your cats eat their furry catches? Maybe that would bring you some good luck (or perhaps if we sacrificed a Tory cabinet minister to the weather gods, we could appease their wrath.....)

[Cindy Ruth]

I'm thinking a week in a hotel sounds really good...no one waking you up to dispose of furry creatures!

[Eden]

Sorry, Jerry. I do not think I was supposed to laugh while I was reading this... but somehow I am finding this funny. I know, however, that if all of those were happening to me, I would not think of them as humorous... so I am sorry for laughing.

Have a peaceful hotel stay and stay away from vodka stores with hummers parked in front.

[Jerry]

Laughter was/is the only way to handle the day. I have had a good time laughing about it with my colleagues at the meeting I'm at. If you don't laugh it just gets depressing!

[Ice Tea For Me]

Oh Jerry, laughing is all you can do when faced with a day like you had.

Now what does Paul do when you're gone and another furry creature is brought in?

For small insects like crickets, spiders, etc. I do the 'Trap w/a cup' technique then slide a envelope, cardboard, etc. underneth and dispose of outside.

I wish I had a 'Jerry' to take care of things like this for me but being single you deal with it or live with the little bugger's. No Thank You.

[Jerry]

ITFM - that is one of the great challenges of singlehood isn't it. We're lucky - the jobs I hate Paul can handle and vice versa. I'm not sure what will happen when something comes up that we BOTH despise!

[Kim]

Fabulous, just fabulous! Erma Bombeck is dead?

[Jerry]

Erma Bombeck? Wasn't she 100? ARGH Just what I need . . . to be compared to a 100 year old woman. Life is good isn't it?