A Proposition

We always seem to be in California when there is an election for something going on (or a drive to recall the Governor). We like to watch the ads, sitting there shocked at the breadth of them, and the abject negativity of them. I think Elizabeth Dole's 'Godless' Ad is the worst ever BTW - I guess you get cranky if your husband is the national spokesperson for Viagra (but I digress, as usual).

When we were in CA we were struck by the ads for Proposition 8. Proposition 8 will amend the Californian constitution to make same-sex marriage illegal. Obviously we were somewhat taken with this. We hissed appropriately when we passed cars with a Yes on 8 bumper sticker and waved at those drivers sporting a NO on 8 sticker.

It was interesting to hear the arguments being put forward - the side supporting the amendment used the same tired arguments that were used in Canada three years ago when Parliament voted to legalize same-sex marriage.

Same sex marriage will be taught in school - it isn't taught in schools here.

People will be fired for refusing to preform same-sex marriages - hasn't happened here.

Churches will be fined or lose their tax-free status for refusing to preform same sex marriages - nope, they're still sailing along.

Next people will want to marry their pets - haven't seen any suggestion of this in Canada . . .

Californians just need to look to their brothers and sisters north of the border for proof of what will or will not happen.

In short, the world will not come to an end. People will continue to get married and living their lives in bliss (well, some of 'em anyway). The doom and gloom predictions of the Phelps' were proven to be nothing but fear mongering, Canada has yet to be smitten with a bolt of lightning from above (although this MAY explain John Baird).

It is interesting to me that such a decision would be put to a plebiscite. There was a suggestion of this in Canada and the Prime Minister of the day refused (although he wasn't a supporter of same-sex marriage himself) stating that it was inappropriate for the majority to decide upon a right for a minority.  It was one of those moments that made me proud to be a Canadian.

Why the fuss about same-sex marriage? Is marriage such a sacred institution these days? Am I missing something?

Of course not. If it were, Las Vegas would be shut down, Britney Spears would have the words 'I do' struck from her vocabulary, and Hollywood 'stars' would have no access to a church.

If marriage were so sacred there would be no divorce.

If marriage were so sacred it would only be allowed to take place in churches.

If marriage were so sacred no one would be allowed to shack up.

Now, I fully understand that for some folks it still means all of these things. I respect that completely. I believe that people are entitled to their views, and I mine.

Some suggest that because the bible only mentions marriage between men and women that that is all that should beallowed. This argument doesn't hold water - the bible condones slavery yet we as a society have come to recognize that it isn't acceptable. I don't hear a hue and cry to reinstitute slavery because that bible says it is OK.

The arguments for same-sex marriage state that anyone, regardless of sexually orientation, should have the right to get married. Of course, there are many out there saying 'watch what you ask for!'  However,  it wouldn't be OK to deny blacks or handicapped people the right to marry - it certainly isn't OK to deny it for gays and lesbians. 

In our society marriage brings many more things other than a ring, a party, and happily ever after - it brings a defined legal status. It means you can visit your partner in the ICU. It means you can inherit your joint estate. It means you can have access to benefits. It means you can make decisions for your partner if s/he is not able to do so themselves. Marriage has a legal status and I think that it is this status that is far more important than the simple certificate.

For some it is seen as yet another form of acceptance by society. It was heart warming to watch couples who had been together for decades, living their lives in private, getting married when the legislation change here in Canada. To see the joy on their faces was amazing. it made me proud to be a Canadian. 

Folks have asked if Paul and I are heading down the aisle any time soon. While the prospect of being registered at Williams-Sonoma is a wonderful one, we don't see the need for a marriage certificate anytime soon. It is nice to know that if we want to we can do it though. We have the same choice that other people have. That is all folks in California are asking for.

Comments

[Palma]

Ah come on! I'll throw a fabulous shower if we can split the loot at Williams-Sonoma! How about Sur La Table, Crate and Barrel and Pottery Barn?

We almost (Brad tried) ran over a group of Yes on 8 people in t-shirts on Saturday!
Great post!

[Kendall]

I will never understand why people continue to poke their noses into what is private business between two consenting adults.
Ignorance is bliss, but not for the other fellow.

[sandrac]

Very well said, Jerry! Civilization, as we know it, hasn't come to an end since Canada legalized same-sex marriage.

And we haven't seen people fighting for the right to marry their pets or their car or more than one person at the same time (which I believe was another of the old arguments against same-sex marriage: that it would open the door to any number of perversions!)

You really should think about getting married, though -- imagine the gifts, from all of your Italy-mad friends. The ceramics alone would be spectacular!

[Brenda]

Aiiiyaiiii, Jerry...great post! Thanks for writing this.

Here's what I know for sure...
People are people and love is love. No matter who loves whom!

Why is it that the far-out-in-the-stratosphere religious right (I'm just speculating here...) believe they have the God-given right to decide for the rest of the world what goes and what doesn't?

I have this exact discussion with a few people in my corner of the world, asking them to show me where they find it written that they have the right to do that for another person...they can't answer me.

They can, however, quote various and sundry Bible verses that they try to use as a wide wedge, to plow a mean swath in front of them, clearing all of the reasonable people out of their way.

I ask them if they'd be receptive to me deciding for them what they should and shouldn't do with their lives...you can bet that wouldn't go very far! Their answer usually is dead silence. No answer at all, because the shoe on the other foot pinches really HARD for them, then.

Thanks, Jerry! I appreciate your wisdom.
(AND, I'd love to go shopping for a shower gift for you and Paul! Bowrings has some great pottery on sale this month...pre-Christmas shopping, you know!)
Ciao,
Brenda

[softdrink]

Jerry, this is a marvelous post...very well said! I get all tongue tied when it comes to politics, so I'm just going to link to your post.

[Vicki]

Jerry, what a great post! My hubby and I have been saying a lot of the same things ever since the Prop 8 thing came along. And I'll bet that legal gay marriage would decrease the overall divorce rate.

[girasoli]

Very well said! I find it amazing that these same people that want to ban same sex marriages and the right to have an abortion are always harping on how we need less of government in our lives There is a reason that separation of church and state is a legal doctrine.

[diana]

NO TO PROP 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't even stand it, Jerry. I can't even stand the this thing is on the Ballot in California, of all states.

All of this kind of stuff is just fear based. Fear of what? Of not having a certain type of mentality validated. Ahhh.

So many of my gay and lesbian friends are in GREAT relationships -- of course!! They have fun together, they help their families and friends, they are enjoying their time here on earth being in love and being loving people. They are living healthy, productive lives. What on earth is so hard to grasp about that?

[Jerry]

Society never ceases to amaze me. I wonder how or why some folks have the energy that they do to pursue limiting the rights of others. I don't know why it matters to them when there are so many other things that SHOULD matter to them. ARGH

[Jerry]

Palma - would you believe that I have never been to Sur La Table, Crate and Barrel? SHOCK I shall have to fix that.