By now most of the world is familiar with the concept of intellectual intelligence. Further, more and more folks are aware of emotional intelligence. But there is another intelligence that few folks out there are aware of.
Today, on April 22, 2009. Earth Day. I am announcing that there is another mysterious intelligence . . . commuter intelligence. See mom - I told you my learnings from psych 101 (24 years ago - ARGH) would assist me at some point in my life. Today is that point!
What is commuter intelligence, you ask?
Well. It refers to the ability of some folks (myself included, of course) to commute to work without being a complete annoyance to those around them. Now some folks may scoff and say 'Jerry, you silly twit. That is just emotional intelligence!'
They would be wrong. Emotional intelligence can be learned. Apparently commuter intelligence can not br learned because these cretins can't seem to grasp that they are annoying the rest of us to the point that we want to pull the emergency brake and toss them out into the ditch.
Let me present a few folks who do not have commuter intelligence. None whatsoever. They are amongst my research subjects.
The 4 young 'ladies' this morning who were eating a large bag of Hickory Sticks at 7 a.m. A granola bar can be excused. A bag of Hickory Sticks can not. I don't care of you have the world's worse hang over - leave the bloody Sticks at home.
The woman who will always be known to me as 'Brazilian'. As a man I do not want nor need to know about the particulars of waxing. The whole process sounds too gruesome for words. Unfortunately today this woman found the words to discuss her waxing of a rather sensitive and personal area in gory details over the phone. Loudly. I doubt that I shall sleeo this evening.
Boss from Hell is another such boob. . . . he was on his cell phone this afternoon, presumably talking to his assistant. Given the way he was speaking to her I can only hope thats she spits in his coffee. His tone and commets were atrocious. I was embarassed for her AND him.
My fourth example is known as 'the Baritone'. This guy's crime wasn't his incessant phone chatter -- he only spoke for 10 minutes, which doesn't even get him into the VIP room at Club Rude. Indeed, on the GO train that makes him only a minor, selfish putz, and not a full blown cretin. However, his voice was this enormous booming Baritone -- LOUD -- and he could easily do voice overs for bad game shows or commercials.
My final example is not for the 'weak stomached'. This red haired harpy gets on the train at Oakville, whipped out her hairbrush, and proceeded to fill the car with her scalp cells. If the rest of her fellow commuters were dust mites or bed bugs, we'd say "thanks for the protein, dear." Since we are mere humans, perhaps we might suggest a good dandruff shampoo . . .
Funny post! But what is a Hickory Stick?!?
Posted by: Annie | April 23, 2009 at 09:39 AM
Jerry--You brought us right there with you in this post--too funny. But, I also need to know what a hickory stick is.
Posted by: Jane | April 23, 2009 at 10:50 AM
Wonder if a Hickory Stick is what we refer to as a Slim Jim --sort of dry,cured beef stick? This was a funny post,Jerry. Those same type of phone conversations drive me crazy in Restaurants and Supermarkets,also!
Posted by: sheri | April 23, 2009 at 05:50 PM
LOL - finally - something we have that you folks down south do not! Hickory Sticks are thin strips (sticks) of potato that are fried like a chip and covered with a hickory tasting seasoning. Imagine eating a bag of chips at 7 am - ARGH
Posted by: Jerry | April 23, 2009 at 05:56 PM