May Searches

Paul has flipped the calendar forward to another month which means that it is time for yet another round up of internet searches.

The long time readers of my daily drivel will know that I have a fascination with how folks arrive at my blog. Typepad has a feature that allows me to track how people arrive here. Lots of folks arrive here from my posts at the slowtravel website, others from links on friend's blogs, the rest through Internet searches. One might wonder why I care  . . . sadly there is no answer other than some perverse fascination. Some would suggest that I lack a life. happily, no one I reallyc are about is THAT mean!

So here we go . . . a list of some of the phrases that people typed into a search engine, pushed return, and ended up at this site during the month of May. More often than not they were to leave disappointed because the blog didn't have what they were looking for. You have to admit - after 898 posts there are quite a few combinations of phrases here and google searches them all.

pictures or photos of woman's lilly white legs

I have always been quite clear that this is NOT 'one of those blogs'. There is enough adult content available on the net to keep a gaggle of 14 year olds busy for the rest of their lives . . . Mind you, 14 year olds are generally not searching for lily white legs . . . Whatever this person was looking for I am quite sure that my post about my garden from a few years back did NOT satisfy.

Batali and defibrillation

Now I made an assumption with this one. I assumed that the searcher was looking for information about chef Mario Batali. Now everyone knows that Batali is 'larger than life'. Which is politespeak for 'he would dwarf Kirstie Alley'. Searching for Batali and defibrillation together is just plain mean!

stephen harper toilet paper

Poor Stephen Harper (who knew I would ever use that phrase?) he misses one important photo op way back in March because he was in the bathroom and people are still interested in it months later. In our media driven world we get remembered for so many things . . . grasping for the Charmin at the wrong moment isn't how I would want to be remembered!

kitty catnip stoned

Yes, catnip will make your cat run around in circles, tear at the carpet, and shred everything in reach. It will amuse you for hours on end. I am sure that the cat will enjoy it as well.  . . at least my own errant youth suggests that. Catnip will not work on you! (no, I am NOT speaking from personal experience). Be prepared for your stoned kitty to curl up in a ball and sleep for 3 days after the drug-induced frolicking! be prepared for a serious caseof the munchies. You've likely been there yourself, you know what it is like. ;-)

cameron diaz in martini glass

Someone is confused. Either they are looking for a really huge martini glass (in which case, I'd like one) or they are suggesting that Ms. Diaz is tiny. I don't believe that either is true. This leaves me mystified, wondering just what was going through this individual's mind. 

are brussel sprouts fattening

BrusselS sprouts are a vegetable. Few vegetables are fattening on their own. Mind you, they all contain calories and too many calories mixed with not enough exercise is a recipe for being accused of a pregnancy when you are not pregnant. For the record, one brussels sprout has about 10 calories. This would mean you'd need to eat enough to turn you green prior to getting fat off of them.

However, if you try to mask the flavour of the sprouts with cheese sauce or a pound of aged cheddar grated over top then yes, they are fattening!

Old shoe stew

I understand that times are tough. Lots of newspapers are featuring recession recipes trying to disguise a meatloaf as a bacon wrapped fillet (won't ever happen!) I had no idea that folks had had to resort to using shoes for stew.

I will stop here, not wanting to face accusations of being insensitive. Lord knows that I am anything BUT insensitive!

asparagus pea

This person is either a poor speller or was looking for a nice pea and asparagus soup recipe. I assumed the former. Anyone who has ever eaten asparagus knows that it has an impact on your next trip to the bathroom. In fact there are even lots of fascinating articles on the mystery of stinky asparagus pee . . . who knew?

I'm just happy to know that I am not facing a sudden death and I can move on with my life!

And now, proof that Dan Quayle has learned how to use GOOGLE (but still has not developed spelling capabilities of an 11 year old):

horse durves

ARGENTINE STEAK SAUSE

thoguts for summer drinks

to much thyme on my hands jerry

thoughts about oatmel cookies

ream of leek and asparagus soup

jamie oliver slowe cooked pork

seafiid chowder recipe

Comments

[Candi]

Fun list as always!
Old shoe stew is my favorite:)

[Rebecca]

I always feel smarter after these posts. I love it!

[sandrac]

As Rebecca said, I always feel smarter after reading about the searches people make to find your blog. But then I feel depressed, thinking that such people's votes are cancelling out yours and mine.

[Jerry]

Now we know who is voting for Stephen Harper Sandra! LOL

I agree that these search posts are great for one's ego!