There are Times I Wish Y2K Had Worked.

Remember how technology was supposed to make life easier for us? We'd all have oodles of free time to lounge about the beach sipping a drink and enjoying the sun.

How is that working out for you?

There are times technology makes me so wildly angry that I want to practice primal scream therapy.

Today was a fine example of this.

I arrived home to a notice from UPS on my door, informing me that they had tried to deliver a package but I wasn't home - funny that someone might actually be at work during the day trying to make a living. The note also informed me that I owed $ 86 in brokerage fees.

This got my blood boiling.

I called the number on the back of the notice. Alovely, calm electronic voice answered and asked me for the 9 digit number on the form. I said the number. I was asked to repeat the number since the voice activated PC didn't quite get the number. I repeated the number F.I.V.E. times before the PC got it.

The next menu offered 6 lengthy choices to select. I wanted none of those choices. I started mumbling about how I wanted to speak to a human.

The PC picked up the mumbling and took it as a request to go through all six options again.

Rage started bubbling within.

I tried pushing 0. The computer hung up on me.

I want through the whole process again. This time I kept yelling 'human. I want to talk to a human' into the phone.

After 2 minutes of this the PC apparenly got tired of it and said 'I'll connect you with an operator'.

I thought there'd be a person right away.

Noooooooooo.

I had to listen to a long story about what I could do to try and solve the issue myself. I like solving problems myself. I don't call unless I need help. Having tried all of those things suggested I was calling as a last resort. Calling was filling me with rage.

By now I was mumbling 'operator' over and over again.

Finally I got put through to a person who was clearly not employed in North America. I'm not racist, really I am not, but if you are assisting folks in English is it too much to expect that you can actually speak the language?

In the end the person at the other end of the phone told me what I already knew - they had tried to deliver and there was a brokerage fee. This is where I snapped a titch. You see, last week I had called the UPS brokerage and provided them with my Credit Card information, they were to calculate whatever duty was owed and just charge it. I also made arrangements to just have the package delivered - no signature, no notices, no fuss.

The person at the other end said 'I'll check your file.'

Sure enough all of that was on record. So UPS clearly screwed up and was causing me grief.

What was the solution proposed? Let me transfer you to the brokerage compay and they can help you.

I was trying hard not to be enraged. It wasn't this person's fault that I was angry; they hadn't caused the screw up. It was so hard not to throw the phone. I think if it hadn't been for the 15 minutes of frustration trying to actually get to a person I might have been able to hold out for that transfer.

As it was I barked into the phone and hung up.

Remember when you used to call someone in your community and they could actually assist you? Now we get computers with a limited ability to think on their feet - being a hunk of electronics. We get long lists of options and frustration when what we need fitsnone of them. Perhaps there are millions of folks out there who call with trivial things and it makes perfect sense for the company to have a computer force the calling customer to do everything that they can to solve their own problem. I don't buy that.

Not at all.

We have companies making millions of dollars. Actually, UPS made $ 1.06 billion US last year - I know because in my enraged state I checked. They make this profit by getting rid of as many people as possible and then outsourcing jobs to lower earning countries. The result is a decidedly unsatisfactory experience for ME!

Bring back the people UPS! I want a person and I want to reach them quickly so I can get help with a limited number of clicks, transfers, and garbled computers.

Comments

[bellini]

So true Jerry. The biggest culprit here in BC if you can believe it is Telus, our telephone company. Try to talk to a human and don't get me started with any government agency.

[giz]

I so felt your pain through this rant - usually it's something to do with a Roger's bill. Now, all you have to do is create a theater play about it, make alot of $$ as a result and you'll have the last laugh.

[Jane]

Having been in this state many times, I was right there with you. Can't count the number of times I have spent too much time (any time is too much) trying to unravel a mistake that was not mine but the company's. Smile, today will be better! I promise.

[Sheena]

Oh don't mention Telus within my hearing! I spent two hours on the phone with them on Monday and resolved only half of my order!
Jerry I read somewhere that if you have a problem with an outsourced call you can insist upon being transferred to your home country. Yet to try this!

[girasoli]

I also feel your pain. I can't count the number of times I have been through this same thing trying to actually speak to someone and then when you finally get someone, they just read this rehearsed speech instead of actually help you. Meanwhile the big corporations get richer and richer...

[JDeQ]

We Canadians shold be ranting more about our phone services - especially celluar. I can't believe that we have the highest rates on the globe! Why????

I agree Jane - any time spent in this horrid loop is far too much time!

Funny (sad, really) how everyone seems to have similar stories of woe. Why on earth do we tolerate it?