
I mentioned yesterday that we planned on doing something different for our 'champagne anniversary' - we deiced to get married. Don't ask me why - there wasn't really a pressing reason to do so since we've been together for all of these years. . . I'm not sure putting a ring on our fingers and having a signed piece of paper changes a whole lot but there you are.
For most of our relationship t was illegal for same-sex couples to get married so it wasn't an issue. Then we could form a civil-partnership which seemed half-assed, at best. By the time we could legally get married I think we both just thought 'why bother?'
Lately I've been feeling a bit guilty. I was watching footage of the LGBT community celebrating the Supreme Court victory in the US and was moved by the reaction as people realized that the could now legally get married. In Canada we never had to go to such lengths so perhaps it was less of a momentous occasion for us. Nonetheless, I have been feeling as if I was taking the struggles of others for granted by not exercising my rights.
About four months ago I watched the documentary 'Bridegroom'. It is the true story of a same-sex couple in the US with a tragic ending. The one partner dies in a tragic accident and because they were not married the other partner had no rights. He wasn't able to make decisions on behalf of his partner in the hospital. After his partner dies the partner's family (never accepting their son's sexuality) swooped in, removed the body, removed things from the couple's house, and buried their son in another state. All through this the grieving partner is left on the sidelines - unable to stop what he knew his partner would hate and unable to grieve fully. This wrenched me and forced me to think a bit about the future - something I am loath to do as a rule.
We decided we would do what we always said we'd do - have a private ceremony with no fuss and bother.
In fact, we kept things secret from all but 4 or 5 people. If you wonder why I've been a bit preoccupied for awhile now you know. :-)
Our first challenge was finding a place to get married.None of the city halls near us who offered civil ceremonies were available on a Wednesday. We kept going further afield in an effort to find one - it started to look as if this wedding would be a destination wedding!
I mentioned this to a woman at the Oakville Town Hall and she saved the day. Apparently she had a list of officiants who would come to the location of your choice to perform the ceremony. She sent me the list. Our plan was to find one who would come to our house. We'd get married in the place where we are most comfortable with two witnesses - our moms.
One of the officiants on the list was the Minster of the church I attended as a child. I was baptized there. We've been a strictly wedding, funeral, and the odd Christmas service family when it comes to religious observances for years but something about the karma of this struck me as 'right'.
I called the number and spoke with Jim. When I explained the situation he said he'd be happy to do it but had to check his calendar - when he left the phone to do this the waiting seemed to take forever. Happily he was available and we were set.
Next up was the rings - we went to Tiffany, tried some one, and ordered the ones we liked. They don't match one another but then again, neither do we, and I think this is part of our bond.

These things taken care of, we told our mothers who were sworn to secrecy. They were thrilled. I was kind of shocked at my mother's reaction . . . I figured she'd be pleased but completely underestimated HOW pleased she was.
As with all things in life which are meant to be simple and easy . . . things got a bit out of control.
The week before the ceremony Paul decided he wanted a cake. I called the bakery that often makes cakes for us and Christine was able to pull something together on a week's notice. Then it was decided we needed boutonnieres. On the weekend Paul decided he needed a new shirt and tie. On it went. I can see why things go nuts for those who plan a bit wedding.

The most gut wrenching was when Paul's mother called to say she was really sick and wouldn't be able to attend. She has been sick for some time so it was not unexpected but it sure was disappointing for Paul - when he called to tell me he sounded lower than I've heard him in years.
We called a family friend and asked her if she'd be a witness. She rearranged our schedule and we were set.
All and all it was a happy day. I was shocked at how nervous I was though.
The officiant arrived at 2:30 to fill out the paperwork. Mom and our friend arrived at 2:45. By 3:15 we were married. The documents were signed and we went outside for the longest photo shoot I've ever participated in.

Later we drank champagne and ate cake.
Mom took us all out for dinner and now I am ready to collapse. :-)